A fulfilling sexuality is fundamental in the life of a couple. As such, premature ejaculation can cause many difficulties, and threaten the harmony between the two partners. Faced with the embarrassment and loss of confidence that the man who suffers from it may feel, the role of the woman is crucial. ” It is a disorder that goes beyond each other ” underlines Dr P K Gupta, sexologist in Delhi.
Are male sexual disorders still taboo? This is the question raised by the Emoi study, the results of which were revealed in 2016. The figures speak for themselves: premature ejaculation is the most common male sexual disorder. One in five men will be affected in their lifetime and regardless of age.
Dr P K Gupta, best sexologist in Delhi, gives us an overview, recalling that ” love is made by two and when one of the two is in difficulty, it makes sense to count on your partner to unblock the situation. ” Thus, in the more or less long term, this sexual disorder can upset the balance of the couple, and represent a real threat. Going beyond this difficulty, which can cause conflicts, arguments or withdrawal, is done in pairs, and the role of the partner is decisive.
Premature Ejaculation: a feeling of shame and failure for men
More frequent than we say and more devastating than we think, premature ejaculation is an under-treated sexual disorder because it involves shame and stigma. Premature ejaculation is often a bad experience for men. It is not uncommon for some to be withdrawn, with a deep sense of failure. ” Man can be touched in the depths of his being in what constitutes for him a part of his identity: his sexual capacities ” explains sexologist doctor in Delhi.
Those who suffer from it may even experience shame, and above all a general loss of confidence. The risk for them is to develop an anxiety of not succeeding with each new report, which aggravates the problem even more. According to the Emoi study, premature ejaculation is a disorder that a man can learn to control and which becomes problematic only if it is a source of discomfort, discomfort or distress, for the person who complains or for his partner.
It is sometimes difficult to break the deadlock: the man sees himself as unworthy of a woman’s interest because of her rapid ejaculation. It is often the tree that hides the forest. Ejaculation is the problem put forward because it seems obvious, while other less confessable, less identifiable problems are nevertheless responsible for relational failure: shyness, fear of women, lack of self-confidence … We will have to look face all these problems and perhaps choose the help of a sex specialist in Delhi to face them.
Premature Ejaculation: a brake in the romantic relationship?
Men suffering from premature ejaculation sometimes find it difficult to project themselves, to imagine themselves in a love story. Too often, their thoughts project them as of the meeting in the failure of the sexual relation and the disappointment of his partner… Starting out losing, he gives up before trying. However, premature ejaculation cannot be responsible alone for the breakup within a couple. In a relationship based solely on sexuality, it will sometimes be an obstacle. Especially if the woman is looking for vaginal pleasure and only that pleasure. But few women are in this case. Their ability to enjoy goes as much through the clitoris and caresses only through sexual intercourse.
For a woman, as for a man, the charm of a meeting consists of a set of elements : the way of being of the other, the centers of common interests, the discovery of a different world or in a way of seeing life, the interest that the other has in you … Love stories arise from all this. The fact that the other has a defect will only be problematic if the link cannot be made.
Premature ejaculation should not be an obstacle for a romantic encounter. It can sometimes take its place in the secrets that the couple exchanges to get to know each other better. Without denying its inconvenience it is not fair to make it an insurmountable mountain.
The role of the partner is decisive in the face of premature ejaculation
The role of the partner is decisive in overcoming this problem. However, everyone must do their part. It is an opportunity for the couple, whether in the direction of evolution, or of the breakup.
To restore harmony within their couple, some adapt. ” It goes a bit fast, so they are focusing more on clitoral orgasm,” added top sexologist in Delhi. This is often the case for couples who get along well. The partner is willing to overcome this difficulty, she shows understanding and listening.
” For others, this situation will be the pretext for crises, it is the case when the couple is already in difficulty ” specifies sexologist in East Delhi. When the partner reacts immediately in a negative way, with conflicts and arguments, it is also a sign of a deeper dysfunction. ” A couple who does not resolve a sexual difficulty is not called to last, ” observed sex doctor in Delhi.
How to reconcile premature ejaculation and full sexuality?
Sexuality can be considered without vaginal penetration or by leaving it a secondary place. All of the caresses, what is commonly called foreplay, can become the center of sexuality. Orgasm can be obtained for the man, as for the woman by touching. Many couples adhere to this sexuality not centered on penetration, by choice or to live serenely with premature ejaculation. Men are sometimes afraid that their women will compare them to previous partners for the duration of sexual intercourse. But the comparison could relate to the caresses lavished with more or less tact and sensuality and there, everyone can be a winner!
Thus, reversing the classic scheme, making “preliminaries” the highlight of sexuality and vaginal penetration for a moment among the others or even leaving it aside, not making it a necessary step, will allow the couple to reinvent their sexuality. For many women, pleasure is established more easily and more intensely by stimulation of the clitoris and even the vagina with the fingers or tongue. Men are also fond of oral caresses. A dildo can also be used in sexual games.
Everyone gives and receives. Whoever, man or woman, knows the first enjoyment: the other will be attentive, then, to continue his caresses so that the orgasm of his partner occurs.
The keys to supporting your partner
- Constructive dialogue. Putting words and re-establishing dialogue is necessary. All the more so if there is an attempt to withdraw from it. ” It is important that the man can talk about his suffering and what he feels, between failure, and discouragement, and the partner of what she is also going through in this situation ” explains sexologist in South Delhi. It is often the silence or denial of the situation that is more harmful than the sexual problem itself. It is of course prudent to avoid reproaches which only aggravate the situation;
- Develop more appropriate sexual behaviors, less oriented towards penetration. Pleasure can be the subject of new experiences. ” The preliminaries in particular are likely to revive an intimacy marred by the fear of failure ” offers sexologist in Delhi. Caresses, massages, or playful games are all erotic ways that will not put the man in difficulty. The objective is more to go towards sensuality and pleasure than excitement, which finds a conclusion too quickly with your partner;
- Develop patience and reassure. The partner plays an important role in male reinsurance. Greeting him with kindness, without judging him is essential. ” This sexual disorder can make men very susceptible and vulnerable, ” recalls sexologist in Delhi. He is in difficulty, to become aware of it is necessary;
- Offer the consultation. In the majority of cases, it is the partner who pushes for the consultation. Sometimes she is the one who makes the appointment with the sexologist in Delhi. There are medical solutions available today. It is a way for her to take care of the relationship…