From afar, everyone’s sex life seems perfect, but no one is sure what happens between other people’s sheets. According to a survey sponsored by a condom brand, the Durex Global Sex Survey, 56% of Indian women and 51% of Indian men are dissatisfied with sex. But after all, what are the main problems and complaints?
To find out what is hindering sexual satisfaction, a sexologist in Delhi revealed the most frequent complaints he hears in his office.
Lack of desire
The number one problem among women seeking help from a sexologist is often the absence or diminution of sexual desire. The misconception that arousal happens only spontaneously still prevails, but desire must be provoked. The more we think about sex, the more we fantasize. The more sex we have, the more we desire. Although less common, lack of desire has grown among men. Stress, relationship problems, and antidepressant use are the major inhibitors of willpower.
Premature ejaculation is the main reason for men to go to the office, followed by erectile dysfunction. The problem is also the most prevalent among gay men seeking help.
Many patients complain about sexual frequency. Most of the time, it is men who express a desire to have more sex than women. Hormonal changes, biological cycles, and even women’s double shift impact women’s willingness to engage in sexual activity. But sometimes there is also a fanciful expectation, motivated by pornography and a false idea that others have more sex. It should be borne in mind that sexual health is more linked to the quality of relationships.
Women who don’t get there
Anorgasmia, that is, the inability to reach orgasm is a frequent problem for women. In the Durex Global Sex Survey, only 22% of respondents said they achieved orgasm in all relationships. This dysfunction can have many causes, from difficulties in the relationship to a block when it comes to surrender. Orgasm requires loss of control, too much delivery, and produces a sense of vulnerability. Lack of proper stimulation, poor affectivity, and previous traumatic experiences may also be related to anorgasmia.
A general complaint is the lack of lovemaking and sexual sameness, the sex that always happens the same way, without any news. It is not easy to innovate in practices in long-term relationships and in a daily life full of commitment. But the effort is worth it.
They do not feel wanted
Another frequent complaint among men concerns the behavior of partners, especially in longer relationships. Some feel unwanted and are dissatisfied with the lack of initiative for the sex of girlfriends or women, who take an exclusively responsive attitude. In the office, men often say that they would like to see more of the attraction they bring to their partners and that they wait for these demonstrations.
No tune in bed
A good relationship is no guarantee of a good sexual rhythm. Many couples get along well together, but they don’t have the same level of affinity in bed. This lack of harmony often appears in the offices. Sexual development, the way each one deals with issues involving sexuality and the education received contribute to this disparity. Realizing that there is no perfect match is an important step in lowering expectations and better tolerating each other’s flaws and quirks.
Camouflaged Erectile Dysfunction
Difficulty in having or maintaining an erection is one of the sexual problems that most affect men. A survey commissioned in 2015 showed that 59% of men aged 40 to 69 have had an erection failure. With premature ejaculation, it is the reason that most motivate men to seek help. However, many are postponing their trip to the office. With the advent of erection medications, fewer men, unfortunately, seek help from sexual therapy for complaints of erectile dysfunction. In addition to causing psychological dependence in some cases, medicines can camouflage other health problems and lack of sexual desire.
After a lack of sexual desire and difficulty in reaching orgasm, penetration pain appears as one of the most recurrent complaints among women. This symptom is called dyspareunia doctors. When persistent, the problem may be linked to different causes of physical origins, such as inflammation in the pelvic region, or psychological. In addition, to avoid pain during penetration, a woman must be fully prepared for sex, hence the importance of dedication to foreplay. It is a physiological necessity as the female genital region is more spread out and needs more time for the vessels to irrigate.
Sex to meet table
In addition to desiring more oral and anal sex, what therapists hear most from men is the desire for genuinely willing partners for sexual activity. In doctors’ offices, men also often express a desire to observe women looking for what is exciting to her.