How often you feel like having sex varies from person to person. Hormones, stress and relationship problems affect your libido.
How often does a couple have sex?
The sexually active Fleming has sex once a week on average. In the beginning of a relationship, people usually make love more often. In a long-term relationship, this is often less.
There is no ideal amount of sex. The right amount is how often you and your sex partner want it.
Low libido: causes
Less interest in sex is not a problem in itself, if you do not experience it. But if there is a big difference compared to the past and you do suffer from it, it can be due to several reasons:
- Low self-esteem or body image
- Fatigue and sleep deprivation
- Hormone Deficiencies
- prostate problems
- Uterine Removal
- Menopause (in both men and women)
- Malfunctioning ovaries or testes
- Past sexual abuse experience
- Relationship problems
- To smoke
- alcohol and drugs
More or less in the mood than your partner
The need for love is different for everyone. If your need for sex is the same as that of your sex partner, it is of course easier.
If there is a big difference in desire between two partners, this can cause tension. Find a balance with your partner that is satisfying for both of you, suggests the best sexologist in Delhi.
Talk to your partner
Talking to your partner is very important to find a balance. You can talk about the history of the problem. Ask yourself and each other a few questions:
- Has the difference in desire always been there?
- If not, when was it better?
- How did the difference in desire grow?
- Has your partner’s need for sex increased over time? Or has your sex drive decreased in the course of your relationship?
- Were there periods when you did get out and how did you do that?
- What would you like in an ideal situation?
- How often could you have sex, and what kind of sex would that be?
- Could the less-wanted person have more sense if the sex was more aligned with their expectations?
- Would the more interested person feel less frustrated if they got attention in a different way?
Libido Problems: Treatment and Medication
There are few drugs that have been proven to increase your libido. Scientists and pharmaceutical companies have been looking for drugs that can increase libido for years. But without result.
Natural remedies, such as aphrodisiacs and herbal supplements, also exist. But it has not been proven that these remedies make you more interested in sex.
Instead of looking for the solution in medication, it is best to look at the cause of your reduced sense. If you know where the dip in your libido comes from, you can look for a solution.
Talking to your partner
You can’t force sex drive or schedule it into your schedule. What you can do is create the right context, so that that sentence can come more easily. Make sure you make time for sex and create the right circumstances, suggests sexologist in Delhi.
You and your partner may not agree on how often you would like to have sex. If you want to make love more or less than is now the case, dissatisfaction can arise. To avoid that dissatisfaction, a first step is to talk about it:
- Discuss your expectations: Talk to your partner about how often you want to make love. What kind of sex would that be?
- Create an open conversational atmosphere where you can listen to both sides of the story. In this way it is possible to find a golden mean.
- Say what you like: your satisfaction depends, among other things, on whether your wishes and limits are respected. Talk about what you like and what you don’t like.
- Make sure that the conditions for making sense are right. Make time. Plan a relaxing evening where you and your partner just focus on each other, with no expectations about having sex or not.
Treatment with a sexologist
How does sex drive develop?
Sex drive doesn’t just appear out of the blue. You get sex drive through a complicated process of stimuli, which are converted into physical and mental reactions.
These sexual stimuli can come from within:
or from outside:
Then you still have to choose whether to respond to those incentives. For that, the circumstances have to be right and they are very personal. If your conditions for making sense are fulfilled, your partner’s must also be fulfilled.
The expectation of a pleasant experience or reward determines whether you want to continue having sex or not. That reward can be intimacy with your partner or an orgasm. If you think in advance that making love isn’t going to be fun, you will be less motivated to start it, warns top sexologist in Delhi.
Libido is not an uncontrollable urge
Libido is often described as a sex drive. That may sound like it just happens all of a sudden and you have no control over it.
It’s not that you have an uncontrollable amount of libido. No matter how strong your need for sex is, what you do with it remains your own responsibility. For example, you cannot invoke your libido as an excuse to justify transgressive behaviour, says best sexologist in Delhi.
If you feel like you constantly need sex and can’t control it, you may have a sex addiction.
Less sense because of pregnancy?
In the first three months of pregnancy, many women lose their sex drive. This is partly due to:
- hormonal fluctuations
- painfully swollen breasts
It takes getting used to your changing body. Fear of hurting the baby, worry and stress for the future do not promote sex drive.
During the fourth to sixth month, the blood flow to the vagina, labia and clitoris changes. This makes them much more sensitive, just like the nipples. Many women have an extra desire to have sex.
During the last three months you have a big belly, pressure on your bladder and extra fatigue. As a result, you may feel less interested in sex.
Note: Everybody is different, especially during pregnancy.
Less sense after childbirth
Childbirth has a major impact on your life. Also as a couple. The delivery and the child shake everything up. Your body, emotions and energy levels change.
Both the birth itself and the months that follow are very tiring. Your sleep is often disturbed by the baby. You also have to find a new balance as a couple. And that can cause stress, worry and discomfort.
Fear of pain also plays a role. If you have recently given birth, you may be afraid of pain during sex. Also, your partner is sometimes afraid to hurt you during sex. It often takes a while to get used to your new body. It is normal that due to all these circumstances you do not immediately feel like sex.
As you grow into your role as a mother or father, the sex drive usually returns on its own. For some, this only happens after the menstrual cycle has started again. In others before, explains sexologist doctor in Delhi.
In the meantime, a lot is possible, because sex is more than just penetration. Also try other forms of sex:
- caress each other
- oral sex (blowjobs and cunnilingus)